Lately I've been thinking about First Impressions.
Sure, I've expounded upon this topic before and even then I'd discovered things I never thought before. I'd managed to describe specific people and how I expected they'd be before I met them, which perhaps could be considered "Pre-Impressions". If I'd heard stories or seen pictures of specific people, my subconscious created this idea of who said person must be, based purely on secondhand information; Which is by no means fair to said person. I know I wouldn't want someone merely
hearing about me and making the decision whether they were going to pursue a friendship or not. I'd want to be given the chance. And luckily, we are.
Though. Do they even matter?
Honestly.
First impressions affect impulses. If we meet someone who is fantastically witty and smart while managing to be jocular and perfectly childish, that first impression causes us to want more. That person is attractive; not in the physical sense, but overall. Because of that first impression, we know whether we want a second or a third. If we meet someone who is boring and quiet, never smiles nor makes any inclination that there is depth to their personality, we're likely not going to put forth much (if any) effort to
try to become "Best Buds".
Confidence plays a role in first impressions. Every change that we teenagers go through affects how we view ourselves, and thus how we view other people, and inevitably how we
think they view us, which also add to how we view ourselves.
How we are, the fundamental things about us: our genetics, the things we like about ourselves, the way we carry ourselves are judged in first impressions. Is it important to have confidence in ourselves and the things that make us unique?
It's cliche to say, but the Lord looks at our insides, our soul, our mind. He doesn't merely look at them, He
knows them, listens to them, loves us in spite of them.
What about physical appearances? I've thought a great deal about this and have become emotional and have several times concluded with a blank mind. Physical appearances matter in our society. It's good to look nice, to feel fresh and lively. But it's not so important as to be vain and concerned with your hair and makeup and clothes. Is it pleasing to the Lord when we've taken a shower and look generally put together? If we have confidence, does it honor Him? It's not a sin to wear Makeup or to wear a nice dress.
Proverbs 31: 22
She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Proverbs 31: 25
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
If Jesus Christ valued first impressions, why did He not make himself favorable? Seeing as though our physical appearance is indeed the FIRST thing we notice about other people...
Isaiah 53:2, 3b
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his
appearance that we should desire him…Like one from whom men hid their
faces he was despised and we esteemed him not.
That makes me want to cry. He didn't make Himself enticing through His appearance. He was created so that He would be attractive based on the words He was speaking.
So: Yes. First Impressions do matter.
But we should not look at physical appearances and judge people. We should look at their inner qualities. We should look at their confidence and where they place their confidence. All the while, we shouldn't be judging ourselves based on what we think they think of us. It's quite backwards.
What does the Lord say about confidence?
Job 4:6
Is not your fear of God your confidence
And the integrity of your ways your hope?
Psalm 71:5
For You are my hope; Oh Lord God You are my confidence from my youth.
We are called to have confidence
in Him. We are not called to have confidence in ourselves. What a thought. Don't have confidence in
yourself, but in
Christ Jesus. Don't spend time analyzing or worrying about how other people will perceive your outward appearance, but rather accept that people will look at your personality. Your personality matters, that is the thing the Lord tends and cares for.
All of this isn't to say that showering and wearing nice clothes is bad, at all. But we shouldn't waste valuable time over-analyzing insignificance bits of our outward appearance. Staying clean and fresh is a good thing, I think it keeps us lively. Feeling confident should not come from liking ones appearance but rather in Christ and the fact that He is the ultimate judge.
Conclusion: First impressions matter in very few circumstances. Though, they're unavoidable we need to accept them for what they are, the first thing we think about a new person we meet. But most (if not all) people should be given a second chance, even if only for the benefit of the doubt. If the Lord wants to orchestrate a relationship between two people then I put my confidence in the fact that He will be just and kind and give us a mutual attraction to aspects of each others character. I do not trust my own judgement of character and charm, but I will put my confidence in the Lord and His unwavering wisdom.
